Appear Offline
by Godess The Hyper Fangirl
Summary: Ichigo gets a laptop and discovers the world of AIM.


**Title: **Appear Offline

**Series: **Bleach

**Rating: **PG-13

Yea yea yea, I know, overdone. But I've wanted to do one for a really long time, and I'll only do one, so spare me.

P.S - My mule's name on Gaia Online is Sewing Superstar Ishida, if you're wondering where that username came from. xD

*****

*****

After much harassment, Ichigo had succeeded in obtaining his own laptop. So one day after school, he signed on to the chat program everyone seemed to be talking about. Soon after, he received his first message.

*****

HappyChappy: O hi, guess who D

Kurosaki6: Do I care?

HappyChappy: OMG U R SO MEEN ICHIGO D

Kurosaki6: ....Rukia? What the hell?

HappyChappy: C! Wus that so hrd?

Kurosaki6: For the love of God, type out your words.

HappyChappy: o Ichigo, ur so b-hind on teh interwebs

Kurosaki6: Whatever. Where are you, anyways?

HappyChappy: The closet.

*****

_The closet...? _Ichigo wondered and went over, opening it. Sure enough, there she was. "Why couldn't you just talk to me?!" he asked.

"I didn't know soul pagers had chat on them. I wanted to try it," she replied simply. He scowled and shut the door, going back to his computer. There was another message for him, he accepted.

*****

Red_Pineapple: I have found you, Kurosaki!

Kurosaki6: Nice username, dumbass.

Red_Pineapple: Shut up! I didn't make it!

Kurosaki6: Well whoever did is pretty damn smart.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: Ohoho, why thank you~ ;D

Kurosaki6: When did you get here?!

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: Didn't you notice this was a chatroom~?

Kurosaki6: .....

Red_Pineapple: Who's the dumbass now, dumbass!!!!!

Kurosaki6: Shut. Up. Just, shut up.

SewingSuperstar has joined the conversation

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx had joined the conversation

SewingSuperstar: Hello, Kurosaki.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: HI KUROSAKI-KUN~ ^_^

Kurosaki6: Hi, Orihime.

SewingSuperstar: What, I don't get a hello?

Kurosaki6: No.

SewingSuperstar: How rude, have you no manners?

Red_Pineapple: Yea, learn some!

Kurosaki6: Why can't you just go away?

Red_Pineapple: Or I could come to your house.

HappyChappy has joined the conversation.

Kurosaki6: And do what?

Red_Pineapple: And get laid.

Kurosaki6: What thing is willing to have sex with you?

Red_Pineapple: Oh, I'm sure you know full well ;D

HappyChappy: You idiot! What do you think you're talking about?!

Red_Pineapple: Gah! When did you get here?!

HappyChappy: Just now! Why are you boasting about sex? We all know you're a virgin.

Kurosaki6: BURN.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: I thought everyone was a virgin ?_?

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: Oh my sweet Orihime, you have so much to learn~

Kurosaki6: SHUT UP.

SewingSuperstar: I have to agree with Kurosaki. No one wants to know about your sex life.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: You hurt my feelings ;-;

Kurosaki6: Good.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: -cries-

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: You guys are so mean! O

Kurosaki6: Whatever.

HappyChappy: She's right, Ichigo. You're so insensitive!

Kurosaki6: What the hell? Why are you so pissy?

HappyChappy: I'm not pissy!

Red_Pineapple: Believe it or not, even women in the soul society have weird hormones.

SewingSuperstar: .......I don't think that's something I needed to know.

Kurosaki6: What, never heard of a girl on her period before?

SewingSuperstar: Well yes, but.....

Red_Pineapple: Wooooooooow

Kurosaki6: I agree.

SewingSuperstar: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

Kurosaki6: Sure.

Red_Pineapple: You live in your fantasy world where babies are delivered by storks.

SewingSuperstar: -_-

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: See! Now you're being mean to Ishida! Say you're sorry.

SewingSuperstar: Yea, say you're sorry D

Kurosaki6: Sorry....

Red_Pineapple: -sigh- Whatever. You're no fun.

Kurosaki6: Wait a minuet, if you're at Urahara's shop, how is Urahara on the computer?

Red_Pineapple: He's at the library looking up porn.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: Am not D:

Red_Pineapple: Are too.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: AM NOT.

Red_Pineapple: ARE TOO.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: AM NOT TIMES INFINITY.

Red_Pineapple: ARE TOO TIMES YOUR MOM.

Kurosaki6: Renji, your mom jokes are lame.

Red_Pineapple: Oh yea? Well your mom is so easy she fucked your dad. BURN.

Kurosaki6: That's not funny.

Red_Pineapple: Oh lighten up.

SewingSuperstar: He's right, you're too serious.

Kurosaki6: Coming from you I can't take that seriously.

SewingSuperstar: Are you implying something, Kurosaki?

Kurosaki6: No, not at all -_-

SewingSuperstar: I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not.

Kurosaki6: Good.

HappyChappy: You're all a bunch of idiots.

HappyChappy has left the conversation.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: Are you going to the dance, Kurosaki-kun?

Kurosaki6: What dance?

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: The Halloween dance. Are you going?!

Kurosaki6: I don't do dances.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: Why not?! It'll be fun! I'm going to be a witch!

Red_Pineapple: How original.

Kurosaki6: You're a witch every year, Orihime.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: Oh yea! I forgot ^^~

SewingSuperstar: I'm going, too.

Kurosaki6: And what are you going to be? A fairy?

Red_Pineapple: lol

SewingSuperstar: No, and why must you always make fun of me?

Kurosaki6: You're an easy target.

Red_Pineapple: He's got you there, dude.

SewingSuperstar: So what are you going to be? An ass?

Red_Pineapple: rofl this is getting good.

Kurosaki6: That's better than a fairy.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: Stop fighting =(

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: What did I miss?

Red_Pineapple: Where have you been?

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: The bathroom. I had to relieve muself.

Kurosaki6: TMI. T.M.I.

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: What? Everybody has to empty themselves at some point.

Red_Pineapple: The mental images. THE MENTAL IMAGES. HELP ME, HELP ME.

Kurosaki6: Renji that's sick

SewingSuperstar: ....I think I need to go now.

SewingSuperstar has left the conversation.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: Aww! You scared him away!!!

Kurosaki6: Good. Maybe he won't come back.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx: You're so mean, Kurosaki-kun.

xStrawberriesxNxCreamx has left the conversation.

Red_Pineapple: Dude, you scared her away. Nice going.

Red_Pineapple has left the conversation.

Kurosaki6: Urahara...?

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper: EVERYONE IS LEAVING ME!!!!! T^T

Super_Sexy_Shopkeeper has left the conversation.

*****

Ichigo had closed the window, but found another message for him.

*****

Karate_Chick78: What did you do to Orihime?!

Kurosaki6: Huh? Tatsuki?

Karate_Chick78: Got that right. She's all upset because you did something.

Kurosaki6: I was just making fun of Uryuu.....

Karate_Chick78: I don't care! You made Orihime upset!

Kurosaki6: Fine, fine. I'll apologize at school.

Karate_Chick78: You better.

Kurosaki6: She was going on about some Halloween dance. You going?

Karate_Chick78: Yea, she asked me last week. I'm only going because she is.

Kurosaki6: Are you sure you just like her as a friend?

Karate_Chick78: ICHIGO! That's a private question!

Kurosaki6: So you don't deny it.

Karate_Chick78: No, I just think it's an inappropriate question and I'm not going to answer it.

Kurosaki6: Again, you're not denying it.

Karate_Chick78: You're an ass.

Kurosaki6: Won't be the first time I've been called that.

Karate_Chick78: I'm going to kick your ass at school.

Karate_Chick78 has signed out.

Boob_Inspector has signed in.

Kurosaki6: Keigo? What's with the username?

Boob_Inspector: Hey! You weren't supposed to know it's me :(

Kurosaki6: It's kind of obvious.

Boob_Inspector: Well it attracts the ladies!

Kurosaki6: Yea, dumb ones. They'll all think you're a jerk with that username.

Boob_Inspector: Will not =( Orihime talks to me......

Kurosaki6: Orihime talks to everyone, Keigo.

Boob_Inspector: Still, she's a girl! And she thought it was funny.

Kurosaki6: Orihime thinks everything is funny.

Boob_Inspector: STOP PLAYING DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

Kurosaki6: I'm not, I'm just pointing out the obvious. And what's with everyone and caps lock today.

Boob_Inspector: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 8)

Kurosaki6: Whatever, n00b.

Boob_Inspector: I AM NOT A N00B T^T

Kurosaki6: n00b.

Boob_Inspector: T^T

Kurosaki6: Are you really crying?

Boob_Inspector: Yes T^T

Kuorsaki6: You have problems.

Boob_Inspector: Do not.

Kurosaki: Oh not this again....

Boob_Inspector: What?

Kurosaki6: Nevermind.

Boob_Inspector: g2g, I have a hot date~ I met her online!!!!

Kurosaki6: Have fun with that.

Boob_Inspector has signed out.

DaddyOfTheYear has signed in.

Kurosaki6: Dad...?

DaddyOfTheYear: I HAVE FOUND YOU, ICHIGO! =D

Kurosaki6: What do you want?

DaddyOfTheYear: Dinner's Ready.

Kurosaki6: Dad, we live in the same house. Why couldn't you come up here and tell me?

DaddyOfTheYear: Your door is locked ;-;

Kurosaki6: It's called knocking.

DaddyOfTheYear: But Ichigo ;-;

Kuorsaki6: Whatever, I'll come down in a minuet.

DaddyOfTheYear: What, talking to a giiiiiirl?

Kurosaki6: I've talked to several, actually.

DaddyOfTheYear: OH MISAKI, OUR LITTLE BOY IS GROWING UP!!!!! HE'S BECOMING A PLAYER JUST LIKE HIS OLD MAN!!!! OH MISAKIIIIIIIII!!!!!

DaddyOfTheYear has signed out.

*****

Ichigo signed and turned off his laptop. He decided next time he was on the internet, he'd be setting his status to 'Appear Offline'.

**~THE END~**


End file.
